ამბავი
Remote-controlled addiction
Edition:
Fear
We live in a boom of scripted TV series, an era when TV is always available and you are never far from your favorite shows.
One year ago, a car hit me. Television shows became an oasis of comfort when my real life was overrun by fears about my condition. My fear of reality became a fear of addiction, fear of losing my grip on what was real, and what wasn't.
I don’t remember the car crash. I remember only before and after, starting the moment when I woke up in the hospital.
After checking everything and making a few scans, me, my boyfriend and my family were told that everything was ok, nothing was broken. The doctors said that my body was in shock after the crash and that is why I felt pain.
Since I had no serious trauma, I was asked to go to another room for some procedures. While attempting to stand up I fainted, so I got to stay in bed.
The next day, after one doctor made a comment about how I was such a drama queen for not moving, a different doctor - who I haven’t seen before – told me that my spine was damaged and probably they missed it on the first day.
I was released from the hospital not knowing exactly what was damaged, since the doctors’ diagnoses on the exact nature of my spinal injury varied and, at times, even contradicted one another. Some told me that I should start exercising every day to help the healing process, meaning I should walk and do all normal physical activities.
But other traumatology doctors, whom my friends and family were showing the x-rays to get the correct diagnoses, were telling me not to dare walk at all, at least for the next few weeks. But even there wasn’t absolute agreement. One would tell me to walk, another one would tell me not to move, a third would say I should move but not walk.
In the end, I was forced to spend a lot of time in bed without moving. During this period, I watched a lot of TV. I watched episode after episode. Watching TV shows felt good-- better than real life. It helped me to forget my situation and get used to my new reality.
One day, I watched 22 episodes in 24 hours. I started freaking out and at that moment, I decided to make this project. I started watching all kinds of TV shows. I don’t even remember all their names.
This project is about TV shows – their addictive, drug-like nature and how I dealt with it. Here reality merges with the TV world and, as a result, we get something ugly, scary, and mystical. Like seeing 22 episodes in a day.
Most of the photos are taken while watching famous TV shows. Others while going through my old photographs, trying to mute my desire to go out for a walk and take new photos.
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