Four Walls

Author: Gunel Safarova

01.02.16

“ At that moment when we left the house, built with my parents’ hands, I was 5 and my brother was 9 years old. Since then, our every day was accompanied by a  dream.  “ Let the affairs with the house be finished.”

This dream was not only our parents,’ but also our desire as we  left our childhood in that unbuilt house. We did not understand the full meaning, and we pray for 4 walls every day. We did not get the full meaning of it, but we were sure that those 4 walls would bring a smile to our faces.

Since 1993, starting from Barda, Ismayilli and Baku, we have changed more than 10 houses. Only one of them was built with the purpose to  live in it. Others were either built unfinished, or were unused buildings, or wagons. Despite this, I don’t remember  the houses in Barda and Ismayilli well, but I will never forget the houses in Baku.  In this city we lived in wagons and windowless buildings, where we were forcely kicked out from places, and our house was knocked down, smashed up, and demolished.

There are not any numbers to calculate how much we lost in those living places, but now they seem far away. Because over the years, we have managed to create some living conditions. Saying "home" it sounds more imaginary than just 4 walls for our family. The imagination of the house for us is a place where we can gather together, the place that gives an opportunity and conditions to study for myself and my brother, and to maintain ourselves without thinking about other needs.

We imagined that a ‘Home’ is a place for us that would console us from the war's misfortunes….”